Help Kinsey pay bills and maybe someday get a vagina installed:
In order to preserve KH's identity's secrecy and privacy, RMJ (who is a trusted and close friend) will be taking donations for her and then sending them to Kinsey's own personal paypal
If she did actually intend to use the IndieGogo funds for GRS, it would still be funding for a life saving surgery.
Unless you think suicidal depression due to dissonance isn’t life threatening, in which case you’re all too stupid to live.
And unfortunately, most cis people are.
Too stupid to live, that is.
Most cis people don’t seem to think suicidal depression due to dissonance is life threatening. They don’t even believe it exists. Even though, in reality, that place we all live in, it is and it does.
So, if and that’s a big if, cuz I already see a lying sack of shit standing in your shoes, Allistair Pinsof. IF she did mislead people about her IndieGogo campaign?
I can’t blame her. I really can’t.
Cuz cis people regularly attack my attempts to fund my future GRS. They regularly attacked my attempts to fund my hormones when I was unemployed (something transmisogyny helps enforce, in case you were wondering).
So when I was and currently am still crowdsourcing for trans related medical needs, I was attacked viciously by people who took every possible sharpened attack they could. And there were a few times that I was nearly pushed over the edge.
To set up crowdsourcing for trans surgeries is dangerous when you’re not out. Because OBVIOUSLY it outs you. To set up crowdsourcing while trans at all is dangerous because people target you. Viciously. With intent to get you killed.
Because let’s not mince words here. The harassment and attacks that the woman you outed received? They were sent to harm and destroy. That was their purpose. To destroy a woman. How anyone could think that wouldn’t end in suicide if successful? Cognitive dissonance of the highest order.
So I don’t have a problem with it IF IF IF IF she did crowdsource for GRS using a cover.
I really don’t.
Because horrible worthless sacks of shit like yourself (and I can see the screenshots of the tweets where you misgendered her on other sites) are exactly the reason something so drastic as that would be necessary.
Today I was told that I’m better than purposefully misgendering an abusive horrific transmisogynist.
Oh my.
Where to begin with this clusterfuck.
I find that it’s either the sellouts, the much more privileged types or the “hi I’m new here” types that preach this moral highground in self defense bullshit
And the “hi I’m new here” types can include those who steep themselves in denial like a bag of dipshit tea, no matter how long they’ve been around.
I mean, come on. Those of us who’ve been around a while and been fucked with the hardest have learned these difficult lessons the best about being nice and being harsh to the privilege douchefucks and their faithful sellout pets.
The fact is, nice often gives the opening that a lot bigoted hateful pieces of shit need to troll the everliving fuck out of you. Or at the very least get their opportunity to wank and jizz entitlement and a need to rationalize their awful views all over your face.
Even mild harshness still gives an opening cuz you’re still treating them like they’re a person with some value. And while you’re doing that, they know that they can fuck with you and try to force you to let them hurt you more by targeting your empathy and other weak points.
Let me be super clear, empathy is not a weakness. Not invariably. But when it comes to abusers it is absolutely an opening they will exploit to hurt you (even if they don’t realize they’re abusing you). A weakness in that context.
Being clear again, every and all bigots, every and all privileged fucks, every and all sellouts? All abusers.
Every. Single. Goddamn. One.
So when I say the absurdly horrible things I do about Cathy Brennan?
When I tell those Pro Injustice types to kill themselves in detail?
In each case I’m protecting myself from some of the nastiest verbal emotional and mental abuse possible on the net. Those are the heavy hitters. The worst of the emotional/psychological abusers.
Now, compare.
Before I started pushing the envelope? I would get regular death and rape threats. I would get regularly harassed. People would make accounts to bypass blocking/ignoring and turning off anon. They went after me because there was still an opening.
As soon as I started telling them to guzzle bleach and anally masturbate with knives? (among other absurd suggestions of suicide) They backed off. That’s right. The majority stopped. The opening was gone. They treated me as inhuman, using my empathy as a weak point to attack at. As soon as I treated them as inhuman they knew that nothing more was going to get through.
Trolls are rarely stupid. They attack while they know they’ll get what they want. Pain, generally. They break off when you just slice them back with a wan smile on your face and saunter off whistling a jaunty tune.
Cathy Brennan often didn’t engage with me at all when I started telling her to get hit by buses or calling her “it”. She’d take the occasional shot but generally I was not a primary target anymore. Her sock puppets (I almost wrote cock puppet, hilariously enough) backed off too.
It also comes down to the fact that the horrible people that come after trans women of color (esp Black twoc) and specific white trans women, cis woc (esp Black woc), autistic folks and several other heavily targeted groups (fat people get nailed from what I’ve seen too) are still human, even the trolls. Yes, they’re human. I do actually know that, yes.
They may be soulless and incapable of empathy for the groups they hate or find disgusting in some way but they are beyond capable of getting upset at things directed back their way. And they want to be treated human, same as the rest of us.
All of us (the targets) know how much it sucks not to be treated like we’re human beings but instead less than. Many of them (the abusers) don’t.
Not truly.
Cathy Brennan, as your example of the day, as a cisgender, thin, neurotypical, physically abled, middle class+ white lady has no fucking clue what it’s like to be truly stripped of her humanity. She’s just too privileged for her to understand it. Even her being a lesbian doesn’t change that, white cis middle class+ abled NT lesbians are pretty fucking privileged as well.
Most of these shitstained fucks of the Pro Injustice group are a bunch of sheltered white middle class NT, thin, cis, etc etc etc ultra privileged kids. The few that aren’t either only have one or two oppressions are are so fucked in the critical thinking zone by their sellout ways and cognitive dissonance that they can’t tell their anus from an orange.
So imagine their reaction when suddenly, oh gosh, OH GASP, someone treats them like they’re treating their targets. That level of dehumanization is beyond anything they can even imagine.
They’re not used to it.
It’s like a pile of bricks fell from the sky on their head and proceeded to transform into bladed dicks with little clicking bug legs and burrow underneath their skin moving towards their brain. Body horror.
So it works. They shy away.
We make it hurt for them to hurt us.
Hurt in ways they can’t ignore. And so they hurt us less.
The moral highground is just another bullshit detour from actual increases in safety. It’s like calling “sitting there and taking it with a smile on your face and educational pamplets in your hand” versions of nonviolence a viable option. It is expecting you to nicely ask the vicious serial killer who’s currently flaying you to “please kindly stop or I shall have to become mildly irate and upset” instead of FUCKING STABBING HIM SO HE STOPS PEELING YOUR SKIN OFF.
Violence is all they understand.
Violence is the only way to get them off you.
So in the end, how much does that “moral highground” matter next to the level of harm they’re doing as we sit and smile and bleed?
And what kind of goddamn fucked morals could see the enabling of actual fucking abuse as a highground anyways?
“Better than that”? Better enough in that we deserve to survive. So let us.
Nearly half of living trans people–surviving trans people–have attempted suicide.
Nearly half of those of us who did not succeed in killing ourselves have tried.
Nearly a tenth of us will be murdered. Nearly half of us will be raped. Most of us will experience violence from loved ones and almost all of us will be denied homes and jobs. This is not hyperbole. These are the numbers as the world currently stands. But the most devastating one, as far as I am concerned, is that first one. Nearly half of the living have tried not to be. That is: let’s leave behind all the nearly. More than half of us have tried to end our own lives and many of us have succeeded. We are a heartbroken people.This is not arbitrary. This is not a mistake. This is not for no reason. This is because we live in a world that has systematically forced into us the falsehood that we are unworthy of the basic consideration of humanity. This is because we–and we are a beautiful people, a powerful people, a beloved and phenomenal people–have been fed falsehood after falsehood until we were convinced that we were the problem, and not the campaign, from the institution on down to the individual, to erase, denigrate, break, and murder us. This is the failure state of the communities we live in: our families, our religious communities, our political leaders, our movements, our governments, our cultures. This is us–trans people–as a people–being forced to carry the weight of an entire world’s failure.
If we are so desperate to escape this world–if we see no other alternative, or worse, loathe ourselves so very much–it is because our communities have failed us. They can do better. We can do better. We deserve better. We are not so full of self-hate because something is wrong with us. We do not do such terrible violence to ourselves because that is what we deserve. We do not abdicate the belief in our own inherent dignity and worth lightly or easily. It is torn out of us, little by little, in daily, tiny murders. And every time we cringe and scrape and apologize for breathing, for taking up space, for speaking, for loving, every time we ask for forgiveness just for being what we are, every time we internalize story after story about how we are dead to our loved ones, ask to be brutalized, need to expect that what we are will merit every door closed in our faces, we are participating little by little in our own suicides.I am no longer interested in sweet words about this. We convince ourselves we are the problem because we are taught to do so, and we are all taught this, minute by minute, even those of us who mostly don’t believe it. We are reminded every hour how low and vile we are despite our best efforts. If you have for an instant believed that you are unworthy of love, that you are wrong, that you are anything less than a person, it is very simply because your community has failed you.
When you have been told you are less than human–less than sacred–less than beautiful–your community has failed you. When you believe it, it is because your community has failed you. I do not intend to mince words.If you are out there believing that you are less than other people–that you are unworthy–that those who love you are settling, or tolerating, or deserve your apology–that those you love are not lucky to have your love–your community has failed you. Your family has failed you. Your faith, if you have one, has failed you. Your leaders have failed you. If you or the people around you are using words that make you feel like a thing; if you are frightened to have basic bodily functions in public; if you talk about yourself like a disease, not a person; if you see nothing ahead in your old age but the bleakness of despair, isolation, and abuse; if your youth is a neverending desperation to get out and away to somewhere you cannot trust exists; if you are quietly taking your bag out from under the seat another has taken from you and moving on instead of asserting yourself; if you are telling yourself it is excusable for other people, even loved ones, not to afford you the basic respect of your own name; if you are believing this is the best you can do, they have let you down.
You deserve better. Because you are not the problem. You are not broken. You are not worthless. You are not a problem and you are not a mistake.We talk a lot about principles and rights, but I am not talking about rights and don’t want to. Rights are the purview of politics and I don’t want to talk politics. I don’t want to talk analysis or discourse or theory.
I want to talk morals. It is a moral issue that our community is full of despair and self-hatred and self-disgust. It is not a matter of rights. It is not a matter of laws or votes or commandments. It is a moral issue. It is a theological issue. It is an issue of fundamental, basic human-ness. And I think sometimes we, as a community, especially those of us so proud to be radicals, forget that sometimes we rush ahead of the community, the culture, the people to whom we are connected, and want to talk about our rights before we talk about what we deserve and why we deserve it. We want to talk about protecting our own before we give each other reason to believe we are worth protecting. We want to jump in with both feet and spread the word about what we ought to have in society without convincing our people that we are worthy of not just full participation in society, civil or social, but of love. Of beauty. Of truth. Of basic humanity. Of self-respect.This is not about self-esteem. This is not about self-help. This is a moral issue. This is an issue of the basic liturgy of human interaction–because it is our daily rituals that define the four corners of the world and the arches of the sky, it is our stories that tell us how to recognize our own faces, and we have been denied our place in the human liturgy for far too long and it is long past time to erupt up from the landscape that conceals us and demand, not just our rights, but the basic essential core of worth and decency that makes us people and therefore worthy of rights in the first place. We have been denied this and we have been told we are the problem. Those of us who are political, like me, hear often about ourselves as a cause. Those of us who are academic, like me, hear often about ourselves as a concept. But we have gotten ahead of ourselves because too many of us–leave alone everyone else, us!–have not heard about ourselves as people. We have been excluded from our own landscape of story and ritual. We have been ejected from our own moral universe. We have been torn from our own regard. And we are killing ourselves by degrees because of it. At eight years old I put a kitchen knife to my chest and pushed, and it was only a miracle that caused me to falter and fail. That eight year old child was not the problem. I was not the problem. A world that taught me that I had no place in it, that taught me to look away from my own holy truth and afford myself not even a scrap of the respect I agreed all other people merited, that taught me that nothing done to me could be wrong because my own moral universe did not include me–that world was and is the problem.
If for a moment in your life you have spent a breath or a thought hating yourself, looking on yourself with disgust and contempt, it is because people have let you down, and those people were wrong. You deserve not to submit to them. You were never the problem. If for a moment you thought your family, your friends, your lovers, needed to compromise to love you, thought they could do better and have a real person instead, it is because your community has let you down, from the top to the bottom.
If our leaders cannot tell us this–if we as leaders cannot tell each other this–we are fundamentally and profoundly abdicating our responsibility to our people, who are crying out for justice. If you run a church or a support group or a political faction or a newsletter or a website. If you speak to our people in public, if you guide young people or those just discovering themselves, if you are entrusted with the responsibility to guide any of us, and you do not make it clear that we are whole, we are real, we are worthy, we are beautiful? You are letting us down and you can do better. You can do better than letting that lie go unchallenged. Our people are hungry for the truth. We are starving. If you deny them that food, if you feed them garbage instead, it is on you.
This is not politics, or theory. It is a moral issue. We are under the arch of the same sky, and yet we are denied the sight of it, leave alone the hope that we might be virtuous enough to share in holding it up.We are not the problem. We are not broken. We are not dirty. Wrong is not our name. We are not wrong. It is long past time to recognize that though we may lose much from truth-telling, when it all burns away, everything that is left is true.
Do not trust me because some great Word is in me. Trust yourself and the Word in you. Trust that you are brim-full of truth. Trust that there is a mighty and lie-less core within you that from birth has told you that you are full of what is good, and trust that the fact you cannot hear it ringing out over your landscape is because it has been buried by other people in a landfill of falsehood.
The fact that you can doubt the truth within yourself is because your community has let you down. And we can do better. We deserve better. We are better than that. We are not wrong.I do not intend to mince words. Whatever there is in you that tells you that you are not worth loving, not worth living, not worth fighting for: burn it. Burn it down and dig for the truth underneath. Dig down through the ashes of all those lies until you hit bedrock and then, pushing off from it, rise up. We walk in places much too dark and terrible to deny ourselves this. In a world that sanctions and blockades our sources of spiritual nourishment, we carry too much already to weaken ourselves by collaborating with this enforced and unjust impoverishment. We deserve to rise up, and, even if only in ourselves, nurture revolution.
We are real people, beautiful people, and we deserve families, communities, movements, and cultures that honor us. I think we can have them. I believe we can make them. We are part of this human family, worthy, complete, pure, and mighty. And we ought to be able to say this out loud and to ourselves until we know that it is true.
Welcome to church.
(Source: imnotevilimjustwrittenthatway)
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21st January 2013
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Reblogged From tal9000
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Notes: 70
So when someone calls me a repulsive sh***le, something which triggers the fuck out of me and sometimes makes me suicidal, it’s okay.
When someone tells me that I was kept homeless by my parents as a young adult and abused straight to shit from childhood simply cuz I’m a bitch (somehow, logic be damned), which also triggers the fuck out of me, it’s fine.
But god forbid I ever tell anyone who triggers the fuck out of me and sometimes makes me suicidal to kill themselves CUZ OMG I COULD END UP TRIGGERING SOMEONE*.
*A real human being, i.e. not me
And we can’t have me triggering real human beings. Cuz these real people are important and their feelings matter and well I should just suck it up and take it until I slit my fucking wrists from all the abuse cuz well, I don’t deserve any right to self defense. CUZ GOD FORBID I TRIGGER SOMEONE WHILE DEFENDING MYSELF FROM BEING TRIGGERED WHEN NO ONE WILL HELP ME.
Cuz I’m not a real person.
I support you. I support you defending yourself. I see those people who say and do whatever they think will cause you the most harm.
Anyone who thinks a person on the receiving end of terrible violence doesn’t have the right to defend themselves can get the fuck off my blog.
The only way that anyone can look at what these people do to me and only think that what I do to get them away from me is what should be addressed or is what is wrong here is if they don’t see me as human.
Period.
End of story.
End of series.
Exit stage left.
Drop curtain.
Fin.
I love how mothafuckers who INTENTIONALLY COME INTO YOUR INBOX WITH BULLSHIT aren’t deserving of being told to go fucking die, but it’s okay to call you all sorts of fucking names.
Because that’s 100% fucking logical.
Not to mention the goddamn grade school level bullshit in which those same ignorant mothafuckers ACTIVELY RECRUIT OTHERS TO HARASS YOU.
But you the bad person.
Please.
They can go fucking eat a chainsaw and fall into Mordor.
And one does not simply fall into Mordor. So they need to put effort in. XD
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12th January 2013
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Reblogged From sourcedumal
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Notes: 29
So when someone calls me a repulsive sh***le, something which triggers the fuck out of me and sometimes makes me suicidal, it’s okay.
When someone tells me that I was kept homeless by my parents as a young adult and abused straight to shit from childhood simply cuz I’m a bitch (somehow, logic be damned), which also triggers the fuck out of me, it’s fine.
But god forbid I ever tell anyone who triggers the fuck out of me and sometimes makes me suicidal to kill themselves CUZ OMG I COULD END UP TRIGGERING SOMEONE*.
*A real human being, i.e. not me
And we can’t have me triggering real human beings. Cuz these real people are important and their feelings matter and well I should just suck it up and take it until I slit my fucking wrists from all the abuse cuz well, I don’t deserve any right to self defense. CUZ GOD FORBID I TRIGGER SOMEONE WHILE DEFENDING MYSELF FROM BEING TRIGGERED WHEN NO ONE WILL HELP ME.
Cuz I’m not a real person.
I support you. I support you defending yourself. I see those people who say and do whatever they think will cause you the most harm.
Anyone who thinks a person on the receiving end of terrible violence doesn’t have the right to defend themselves can get the fuck off my blog.
The only way that anyone can look at what these people do to me and only think that what I do to get them away from me is what should be addressed or is what is wrong here is if they don’t see me as human.
Period.
End of story.
End of series.
Exit stage left.
Drop curtain.
Fin.
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12th January 2013
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Reblogged From girljanitor
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Notes: 29
This is a submission from a lovely pile of shit. I decided I would show you guys what sort of things I get on a regular basis. This is the kind of shit people shoot my way. My edits are in bold, I added the title and the tags. The unbolded part is all what this worthless fuck submitted to me, under the guise of a fake email.
This is not an exception. This is normal.
Die trans scum.
This is not cute. This is not just some. This is a sincere wish of death. You are a disgusting person. Even other trans people hate you.
You used your friends to leech off their money, and you can only spew venom towards other. Your very existence is a threat to everyone.
No one likes you. No one. Even those who say that they like you are just pretending out of pity or to fill your ass with cum.
Die trans scum. Die, you disgusng horrible fat freak of nature.
Kill yourself. Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.Kill yourself.
But I’m wrong to defend myself, huh? I’m wrong to lump sellouts in with cis people and distrust all cis people and tell people to fuck off and die and kill themselves when they send me shit like this every fucking day, right?
I just want to bleed until I can’t bleed anymore
