I’m indecisive, broken as shit, afraid of commitment, connection, success and failure in relationships, love and sometimes even sex and yet crave all those things like they were necessary to breathe.
I need social interaction but it becomes so overwhelming (especially when it’s deep and caring and close) and then I freak and need to be away from everyone and actually want to die from that sometimes.
Which leads to a disturbing pattern of I WANT I WANT I WANT OMG I SUDDENLY DON’T WANT BRB DISAPPEARING FOR A WHILE
And people get hurt.
So, I suck at all the things, basically and no one should ever love me for their own sake. Etc etc etc