No it fucking didn’t.
“Oh but it’s just a joke! It’s a figure of speech!”
No, it’s not, asshole.
“But it’s sweet, and sweet things give you diabeetus so it’s funny!”
No. Stop right the fuck there.
Sweet things do not cause diabetes. Eating too much sugar as a kid does not cause diabetes. When you make jokes as if it does, you are not only factually wrong, you are fucking blaming people with diabetes for their own illness.
Don’t believe me? Well, shit, I’ve only had it for fucking years. Gosh golly gee whiz, you must know WAY more about it than me!
And if I see one more person spelling it “lol diabeeeeetus” I’m gonna fucking punch something and it won’t be anything or anyone that I like.
“But sweet things make you gain weight and that gives you diabetes!”
No. Wrong a-fucking-gain. Type 1 (which gets ignored almost completely except for the cute puppies whoops I mean kids, but that’s another rant) is an autoimmune issue. Type 2, the one that gets blamed on weight? It has a strong genetic component. But hey, great job being an asshole.
And while we’re on the subject? Policing how I manage my diabetes is not fucking okay.
I can have sugar. If I can’t, it’s between me and my doctor. Don’t fucking give me ‘diet’ or ‘sugarfree’ foods without asking, and don’t make those the only options available. When my blood sugar is low, I need sugar. If you give me diet soda and tell me it’s regular, allergies aside it could kill me because I take insulin for every gram of carbohydrates I eat and if that sugar isn’t there, I WILL have a hypoglycemic reaction.
Did I mention that this can KILL ME? Because it can fucking KILL ME. I don’t mean from a diabetic coma (and GOD don’t use that as a cutesy joke either what the fuck is wrong with you) but if my blood sugar drops too low, I lose the ability to function, my body shuts down, I pass out, there is potential brain damage, and if someone doesn’t get to me with a glucagon pen fast enough? I WILL FUCKING DIE.
I can have bread, pasta, fruit, and anything else I want to fucking eat. If I can’t, it’s between me and my doctor. Back the fuck off, Doc McNoseyStranger.
If my blood sugar is low, I fucking need sugar. This cannot be stated enough.
No, eating [insert diet here] will not cure my diabetes. Neither will exercise. That’s because my motherfucking pancreas is broken. Let me know when diet and exercise help you grow back a non-functioning organ, okay? (Fingers crossed for brain, whee!)
Yes, I can have babies. I have a nine-month-old and a two-year-old.
No, you don’t get to ask “how my sugars are doing” or other prying questions or tell me ALLLL about your grandma has diabetes and you totally understand and I’m going to go blind and die young and does it hurt to use the needles and shudders oh I could NEVER do THAT. You know what? I hate needles too. I like being alive even more.
Don’t fucking act like I’m some kind of addict for taking medicine to keep myself alive. Don’t even start.
No, it doesn’t just ‘go away.’ No, it’s never going to be perfectly controlled. That’s what happens when you take what should be an automatic system into your own hands.
No, I don’t need your fucking pity.
It IS a real disease. It sucks big fat hairy …coconuts.
It is NOT a fucking joke.
Please take note.
I just lost a dear friend, and I mean just as in three days ago, to complications from his diabetes. He was 30, lost a leg in his 20s because he was skinny and didn’t get diagnosed until he began to lose extremities. He was funny, and talented. He told side splitting jokes, and had an amazing singing voice. I hadn’t seen him in years, and now I will never see him again.
A combination of lack of comprehensive, affordable healthcare in this country and a serious disease killed my friend.
So no diabetes jokes, for fucks sake.