Cuz it’s too fucking much.

I’m exhausted because so much of my fucking energy goes into survival and did even before I became homeless and now things are a million times more fucked.

And I just wanna be able to fucking relax with the people I care about.

I wanna relax and not get called him or he or hear the word “tranny” or “crazy” or get told to get back in the kitchen cuz HAHA YOU’RE SO FUNNY YOU FUCKING PILE OF SNAKE SHIT LOL YOU.

I wanna sit down and put my feet up and not have people tell me to pull myself up by my bootstraps or tell me I’m so fucking dramatic cuz I cried a few days ago because all this shit is too much and my anxiety and depression are out of control cuz these meds fucking suck and I can’t get better right now.

I wanna hang out and not have everyone sucking down booze in front of me when it’s only been six months since I stopped and only a few months since most of my withdrawal cooled down and I still can’t fucking sleep and I get the shakes sometimes.

I wanna sit down with friends and not have some fucking asshole talk about “those people” at walmart, you know, those poor people. Or tell me off cuz I shop where it’s cheap because I don’t have the fucking money (NO INCOME, FUCKER) to boycott the places y’all liberal types boycott.

And I especially don’t wanna be around people that make excuses for abuse, that say it’s just parenting or the kids deserved it, making jokes about rape right the fuck in front of me, I don’t want any of that shit.

So I get rid of people. Cuz I don’t have the fucking energy to fix these fuckers and I really need friends I can be around.

I don’t give out chances anymore. I’m tired of being fucked around.