grrspit:

milkeemountainmama:

i mean, i want to make it clear—I don’t support what that man did for one second.

but i really need to parse out all these dynamics in how The Internet (tm) talks about parents and parenting…and how we feel protective of a presumably white girl but don’t really notice or actually enjoy when a black boy gets his ass whupped….and how little interrogation there is of the role of mothers and how violence plays out against mothers and with mothers and what the different range of “abuse” is and how “abuse” is an undocumented woman speaking spanish to her child in one case, but it takes a man blowing up his child’s computer to be abusive in another case and how the violence of fathers is understood against the violence of mothers and what is considered worth imprisonment and what isn’t and how there can always manage to be two basic threads running through parental violence discussions—that a parent who lays a finger on any child is an abusive fuckstain all while at the same time if you take that child into a public space and you better believe i’m gonna spank the fuck out of it if it acts up….

just…i always feel disjointed and confused and just fucking irritated when these discussions come up. because NO, it’s NOT fucking right what parents/caregivers are doing when they do this shit and it makes it even more fucked up when they record it/post it. but there’s a lot of complicated SHIT going on with abuse and parents and violence and that complication never seems to be acknowledge or examined (LIKE: why the mami who left her kid in the car (who then died) while at work is NOT ‘abusive’ in the same way a white man who blows up his kid’s computer is)—it ALWAYS boils down to *judgement* rather than *understanding so we can fucking change that shit*…which is just exhausting. because *as a parent* and as a *believer in children’s rights*—I want shit to fucking *change*. and as a mami of color, i’m in a space where me screaming at my kids could get the cops called on me—all while at the same time—i know that my children have no fucking value to society, would receive very little protection of they were in an abusive situation, and more often than not, would be told they *deserve* the abuse.

That dynamic is a FUCK of a dynamic. and fucking exhausting. which is probably the biggest reason Teh Internet (TM) exhausts me when it comes to parenting discussions.

Yeah, that exactly.

(Source: marshmallowmegamama)