hamartophilia:

genderbitch:

hamartophilia:

genderbitch:

Excuse me? I’m mentally ill and I’d never do a goddamn thing like that. Don’t equate the mentally ill with abusive fucks, thanks.

Hey cool we’re both mentally ill, and so was my abusive shitbag brother who has the same mental illness as me when he shoved my face into a 25 inch CRV monitor, breaking the screen, when I was 14. I still have some issues to work out between myself, my feelings, and MY usage of the word sane. That is all.

Shit happens.

I still have problems with it too, mostly cuz of the abusive as fuck rapist ex I had who had borderline personality disorder. I actually had to erase my original reaction to the post cuz I had belted out the word psycho.

A lot of mentally ill folks got complicated feelings when it comes to the slurs. So I get it.

I can’t even describe how I feel about the slurs like crazy and insane and all of that, because on one hand, I really hate them and feel alienated by them, but on the other, I feel like that’s why my brother is and I use those words, and I know that by some standard of society because of my illness, I’m viewed in the exact same light. It’s hard. But I’m sorry if I triggered you in any way, Kinsey.

Eh. I’m fine. No worries. The only thing triggering me in that post was that ridiculous shithead shooting up his daughter’s laptop. Holy fuck was that triggering.

But yeah, it sucks how that stuff gets into our heads. Turns us against ourselves. I dunno if this ever happened to you but I really unleashed a lot of self hatred when I started realizing the extent of my mental illness because of how many of my abusers in the past were mentally ill and how much I clung to those slurs to help me hate them so I could escape.

I found that the hatred I needed to keep them away from me and how I had used ableist society to fuel it only ended up stabbing me with the same stuff. It sucked. Honestly, it still sucks cuz I’m still working my way through it.

It’s a struggle. And society really doesn’t help :(