holeycynicism:

pianycist:

holeycynicism:

fuckyeahemergence:

pianycist:

(via queersecrets)

If you truly didn’t care, listening to people talking about their self-descriptions shouldn’t bother you.

I’m pretty sure it’s not listening to people’s self-descriptions, it’s their obsession with them. Too many people find their identity in their sexuality, and have no way of relating to anyone without it. Instead of talking to a waiter who is gay, I’m talking to a gay man who is a waiter. There’s a massive difference.

Even if there is a difference, it’s not my place to have a problem with it. I don’t have a problem interacting with waiter who is gay or with a gay man who is a water. It’s not my place to police others’ self-expression.

It’s not your place to have a problem with it? Do you mean “it’s not my place to limit another person’s expression to suit my preferences” or “it’s not my place to have a preference”? The first is fine, the second is ridiculous. No one’s policing self-expression, but I have a right say, “You’re annoying me, so talk about something else. If you want to keep talking about this, talk to someone else.”

You’ve got a right to your preferences. It’s just that some preferences (and some ways of expressing them) make you a colossal asshole.

If you really don’t wanna talk about identity and whatnot, just change the subject. Be like, “oh hey, I wanted to get your opinion on [insert thing unrelated to identity here]” It’s not hard to avoid being a toolbag.

And maybe you should think about why you don’t wanna talk about identity. Because preferences can come from a bigoted place (like the white girl who says she could never date any black man based on the few she’s met) and that matters a lot. So I’d think about that too.